Bored in a relationship is it normal

One study found that people who had couples therapy reported improvements in communication and relationship satisfaction and better intimacy and responsiveness. If you've lost interest in more than just your relationship, it is essential to realize that it might be a sign of something more.

Loss of interest , also known as anhedonia, is a cardinal symptom of depression and other issues, including anxiety, bipolar disorder, and stress. Talk to a healthcare professional if you are concerned that your feelings might be more than regular boredom. Feeling bored doesn't mean your relationship is doomed. By working together, you can find ways to bring passion and excitement back into your relationship. Spending time together, changing your thoughts, and trying new things are strategies that can help.

Just because the initial excitement of your relationship begins to dwindle does not mean that love fades or lessens. When it comes to relationships, you might be motivated to reduce boredom in a variety of ways. Suppose you decide that your relationship is worth saving. In that case, it is important to cope by taking the first option—invest in your relationship in ways that will increase your happiness and improve your relationship. Suffering in silence will only lead to feelings of resentment and dissatisfaction that will negatively affect your relationship more in the long run.

But if you decide that the relationship is not worth saving, you may find that it is better to break things off now and begin looking for other relationships that are better suited to your needs and your life.

Calling it quits once you recognize that a relationship is not suitable for you is often the best choice. It isn't unusual for relationships to get boring from time to time.

Sometimes it can be a sign that you need to take steps to reinvigorate the relationship, but at other times it can be a sign of something more serious.

The key to addressing it is to open up a line of communication with your partner. Be open and honest about how you feel. Once you both understand what is going on, you can either work together to address the problem or talk about other options, which might include couples counseling or potentially breaking up.

Ultimately, remember that relationships aren't always effortless. They take work—even when it comes to keeping the spark alive. There's no single, simple solution that is right for every couple. However, if you are both willing to commit the time and effort, you can work together to get your relationship back on the right more exciting and satisfying track. Learn the best ways to manage stress and negativity in your life. Regulation of romantic love feelings: preconceptions, strategies, and feasibility.

PLoS One. Communication behavior and relationship satisfaction among American and Chinese newlywed couples. J Fam Psychol. Marital boredom now predicts less satisfaction 9 years later.

Psychol Sci. Bagheri L, Milyavskaya M. Novelty—variety as a candidate basic psychological need: New evidence across three studies. Motiv Emot. Coulter K, Malouff JM. Effects of an intervention designed to enhance romantic relationship excitement: A randomized-control trial. Couple and Family Psychology: Research and Practice. Spicing up the relationship?

The effects of relational boredom on shared activities. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. Do you think similarly when it comes to those values that are most critical to you and your life, like the importance of religion, family, or health?

And lastly, how do the two of you handle stress and conflict together? You want to handle your disagreements and stress in a positive, constructive way. We all grew up hearing fairy tales about living happily ever after. Do you expect fireworks all the time, a constant attraction that never disappears, or one that comes and goes?

Many people crave passion, take it for granted, and assume the intensity and excitement will last forever. Unfortunately, these assumptions are wrong. Understanding how passion works is a key secret to making your relationship last. It allows you to have completely different expectations of yourself, your relationship, and your partner.

I should expect passion to fade over time. This is totally typical. You might even decide to work harder on your relationship and give it another try. The elements of passion, romance, and sexual desire are still essential to any long-term relationship. My long-term study of couples finds that you can rekindle the passion and sexual desire by adding three behaviors back into the relationship: newness, mystery, and arousal — the same behaviors that created the passion in the first place.

This can be as simple as finding a new restaurant in a part of the city where you never go. Or you could try water skiing for the first time, or attend a cooking class together.

Here are some creative date ideas to spice things up. Having true intimacy in life with a partner or even in our other close personal relationships requires there to be a feeling of safety, a surety that we can trust the other person knows us deeply and sees us for who we are, they accept and love us for the qualities that are uniquely ours, and they have our back to support the deepening of that expression of who we are.

Perhaps our perception of what a healthy relationship is has had its bar lowered through the acceptance of mediocrity and now represents not even a mere semblance of what it is to have true relationships; and so we have arrived at a situation where many people are accepting crumbs as being love. The truth is that the reality of the pain of living with this will not ever be satiated with a new hobby or a bigger better date night; in truth these options are just a slower way of pulling the band-aid off, and only further prolong the pain.

Feeling bored in a relationship is most definitely something not to be ignored and absolutely requires our most caring attention, for there is a lot more to it than the simplistic approach of re-charging your sex life or designing your next holiday away together. For a start, why not ask the question of how you feel about yourself first. Be truly sincere with yourself and examine how you are with you : do you love and care for yourself in a deeply personal and affectionate way, do you offer yourself the freshness of learning about yourself every day, do you reflect on life and the ever-revealing lessons that are presented within every moment, do you communicate any of this to the people close to you, do you share of yourself and your gorgeousness with others?

The questions to discover how much we love ourselves can go on and on, and how far we are prepared to extend that love to others can be evolved in every moment, but the point is that the real starting point for truly addressing a perceived issue of boredom in a relationship is with yourself first.

But if you need some assistance, Amin recommends counseling — especially since it will give you a safe space to explore your dissatisfaction. An expert can help guide you on more specific problem areas, but, generally speaking, reminding yourself of and appreciating the qualities that drew you to your partner in the first place instead of "focusing on all the things your partner is not" are good mindset adjustments to get you started.

Along that same vein, she adds, "Be careful of the 'grass is greener' syndrome. All relationships require work, including relative areas of challenge. What may seem light and easy in comparison will inevitably come with its own challenges as relationships become grounded in security.

If you are committed to making the relationship work, Amin recommends amping up your communication and trying new things with your partner rather than playing the daydreaming game. Don't be afraid of bringing up tough subjects and asking directly for what you need in these scenarios, either.

Trying a more holistic approach by incorporating new activities, habits, and dates into your routine can also help bring some life back into your relationship. Our minds often attribute the feelings of arousal toward our partner which can help reignite the flame. Remember that most of this advice is for people who really want to make their relationship work and overcome this boredom.

You want to be in a relationship that you want to fight for, even when times get tough, not one where you feel obligated to. On the plus side, just because you are currently bored in your relationship doesn't mean that the love you have for your partner and your attraction to them is gone.

If you really want to, you can absolutely overcome this boredom by talking it out and mixing it up. Binita Amin , a clinical psychologist.

Montrella Cowan , a social worker and life coach specializing in relationships. Susan Winter , NYC-based relationship expert and love coach. Alisha Powell , Ph. Shannon Smith , relationship expert. Debra Fileta , licensed professional counselor.

Cherlyn Chong , dating and breakup recovery coach.